Left Behind

 

A girl with blue eyes in a red and white dress,
A smile so wide, her hair unruly, a mess.
She looks out the window, face pressed against the glass,
As you walk down the driveway, see her and laugh.
Your black hair falling across your right eye,
The girl squeals with delight as you lift her up high.
You watch her eyes sparkle in the same way yours do,
And bask in her gaze, the one reserved just for you.

I have missed you she says as you set her back down,

And she giggles and twirls around, and around.

Remember don’t walk so fast Dad, she is quick to remind,

As she tries her best to not get left behind.

You wonder if this bond will forever stay,
Or as she gets older will she push you away.
Well, that little girl grew up, had two boys of her own,
But needing time with her Dad, was something never outgrown.
Movie dates, Sports Days, lunch and car rides,
Talking and laughing, fun only he could provide.

He would always dress up for her, wear his fancy aftershave,

The one in the red bottle, for specials occasions it was saved.

Two peas in a pod and that bond never did break,
But cancer came along and that brought much heartache.

Remember to fight Dad, she is quick to remind,

Starting to fear that she’ll get left behind.

Many tests, GP and specialist appointments had to be done,

And your girl by your side for most, she may have only missed one.

The same wicked sense of humour though they continued to share,

Who would have thought they’d be laughing in a chemo chair.

Unfortunately, Leukaemia is a sometimes silent, sneaky beast,

And you never stood a chance; luckily we didn’t know that at least.

One emergency hospital admission a week before you died,

Had her flying out my door, the 5am call taking her by surprise.

She grabbed her glasses with no time to look nice, or tame messy hair,

She ran to your bedside, your eyes took in her “look” and you said, “Lory, I’m too sick for such a scare.”

Remember I love you Dad, she is quick to remind,

Still oblivious that oh too soon, she’ll be left behind.

Given just 24 hours to prepare for the worst,

A bedside vigil commenced, with no time to rehearse.

Her Mum and her brother on one side of your bed,

Comforting each other, so many tears being shed.

But your curly-haired girl, now very much grown,

Stood to your left, feeling completely alone.

For her person, you could no longer stand,

Much less pick her up, or hold her hand.

A realisation did dawn, of what was to come,

She felt faint, even dizzy, and then all kinds of numb.

Dad can’t fight this, she is quick to remind,

How can she possibly endure being left behind?

She never left your side, held your hand the whole time,

Played your favourite music, as you quickly did decline.
As you drew your last breath while she watched and held hers,
She was once again that little girl, with the unruly curls.

The solid foundation upon which they’d both stood,

Now scarily unstable, she would have run away if she could.
So many memories made started to replay in her mind,
As the tears poured down her face, no joy in them could she find.

Better to have had a love like that than not at all,

But, oh how I wish to be that little girl again, so safe and small.

I will find you one day Dad, she was quick to remind.

But for now, she had truly been left behind.

So my last gift that I could do for you,

Was to return you to the Isle, upon which you grew.

You were the youngest of five, of which only one brother remained,

And it was he who chose your resting place, a tree in the copse where as a boy,  you often played.

So along with our Isle of Wight family, the most amazing support crew,

We gathered arm in arm, as your girl now carried you.

Into the forest, we went, as we slipped and slid on a muddy path,

What a sight we must have been, I know you would have laughed.

We scattered you there, tears of sorrow were shed,

But we also smiled big, as we shared stories, of the life you led.

I will miss you forever, she was quick to remind,

And it was she who had now left HIM behind.